Getting On Top: The Kinky Girl's Guide to Pleasing Her Man

Updated: Nov 13, 2018



Getting On Top: The Kinky Girl's Guide to Pleasing Her Man

Dive into the deep end, I say. No, I have on too much weight. Come to the deep end. No, it's too vast. Come to the end. I push You glide in my ocean and you come.

What would you grab if your house was on fire? If you thought of your sexy lingerie and sex toys, then, Cheers, you are a Modern Lolita. You make your man’s body sing. You allow your natural juiciness to flow. Your sexual adventures could grace the covers of erotic thrillers. Bring it on, sista. Here's how to live your sex life on a galactic scale.

Immerse Yourself In The Present Moment. You may have amazing lovemaking skills. But sexual talent will only get you halfway up the mountain. Tune in to your lover’s feelings and speak to his heart with your higher consciousness. Just as the roots of a tree are crucial yet unseen, there are hidden desires buried below the surface of your life that you can expose. But you must sweep away all feelings of guilt that keep you from feeling fully alive and playful.

Don't let the exploration of sexuality pass you by just because you didn't take the time to notice your lover's body and honor his sensuality. Talk dirty to him and don't be afraid to moan and scream with delight. It doesn't matter whether you make love in a department store or a dark staircase as long as you are mindful when you do. Even a delicious session of phone sex can be a liberating and divine sexual experience.

Coffee Shop Worker By Day And Bondage Player By Night. Step out of your usual role for a while. Tell your lover in public that you think he’s hot. Grope him continuously. Blindfold him, regardless of where you are. Get permission to tie his hands behind his back. Be the one to suggest you go into the bedroom or a private space. Say six absolutely filthy things to your man over the course of the night. Do something you’ve seen on screen or read about but haven’t had the guts to try. Role play a power dynamic, such as a tutor and student, pilot and air hostess, pop star and crazy fan. Remove an article of his clothing using only your mouth. Give him a spanking. Kiss the part of his body you find most appealing. Make a pass at him in front of a mirror and watch as things progress.

Fifty Shades Of Pleasure. Use roller coaster massage to make your man horny for you. Men often complain that women don't know how to hold a penis properly. Don't pull a man's dick too quickly or mindlessly. The intention is important. The correct rhythm in holding a man's penis can create more warmth and enjoyment. Massage slowly in the beginning and as the foreplay increases, you can go faster and faster. Learn how to make a soft penis hard. Alternate body massage with penis massage. Make the contrast stand out for the highest ecstasy. An hour of tickling or hard body massage is boring. Mix and match hard massage with gentle tickling. Don’t let the penis sleep. The more you play, the more he gets thicker. While massaging, allow your hair or breasts to touch your beloved. Add a soft kiss on the back between hand strokes to gently tease him. Relinquish yourself to him for a while.

Strip Him Down. Play mental games with your lover. Look out the window and choose someone on the street. Tell a story about that person – their deepest sexual desire, their wildest night, the total number of sexual partners they have had, things like that. Then, ask your lover to choose a couple on the street and predict their sex life. You can use provocative games when you go grocery shopping, wait at the gynecologist’s office, go out to eat on a date. Make up your own sensual games and deck of massage, foreplay, oral, sex toys and role-play cards. Stretch your erotic sensibilities. Expand your notions about pleasure. Open yourself up to new heights of intimacy. Give in to your erotic wanderlust.

What Is Your Sexual Super Power? Think about what you do best and approach sex through your strengths. Are you most comfortable in groups? Try threesomes and orgies. Are you good visually? Pose as a lingerie model. Do you think better when you’re moving? Try car sex. Look to other cultures and your past lives for inspiration in the bedroom. You may have been geisha in a past life or a Madame of a Lebanese brothel. Your intuition knows her shit; trust it. Thanks to rich sexual experiences in your past lives, there is a song in your heart. Let it burst forth into the current world so you can be more sexually satisfied. You were born with all you need to know in the bedroom; it's what you do with it that matters. Burn like an intense bonfire in whatever you do.

Make The Ordinary Extraordinary. If a sex toy was invented in 1999, it’s time to discard it from your bedroom. Use household objects and improve upon them. Who needs nipple clamps when you can use clothespins to stimulate your man’s nipples? Look at accessories in your house with new eyes. Re-think hair clips, acupuncture needles, slingshots, toothpicks, key rings, earrings, and money clips. What else could it be? Explore opening all of your chakras (together) before making love and see where that takes you.

Most of all, trust yourself. You are a conduit of love, not a sage. You are an oracle of magical powers, not a book of laws. The pleasure of the moment is most important. Go with your own sexual gifts and be wary of videos that try to show you the one true way.

Turn on your light and let your inner wisdom guide your moves. Never neglect back rubs, foot rubs, hand massages, neck massages, scalp massages and other acts of generosity, such as combing or shampooing his hair and trimming his nails. Honestly, when was the last time you treated his feet to the ultimate indulgence with a pedicure?

He’ll be a better lover for you when you’re better to him.

Photographer: Erin Arnold of Sweetleigh

Model: Psychic Apprentice Mishka

Graphic Design: Master Psychic Rachel

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